Taking BACK my power...

Have you ever been taken for a ride where you had NO power of what was going on. Or when people use your past to get power over you to control and make you feel bad?

For the past little while this has been going on in my life. People close to me feel that they need to use my past to get control over me, to blame me for their problems. But Wednesday sitting in an attorneys office I realized that the crap that people had been feeding me and harassing me was just that, CRAP..

Why in the world would you want to use something that was and IS a tragic in someones life against them? So they will do what you want them to do or want to make you feel bad and that you are nothing. WHY, WHY, WHY? And when its someone close? WOW how amazing is it that someone that you trust would bully you like that.

I guess BULLING is the word for it. Why do people have to be BULLY'S?

I realized AGAIN that NO ONE has the right to do this to ANYONE. Not even me! I don't have the right to hold over someones head mistakes/bad decisions they have made. Or events in their lives where things have hurt deeply. SO WHY would someone so close to me (not my DH) want to do this. Maybe its because they themselves are not happy and need to have control over other's because they feel they are not in control of their own life. I don't know the answers but yesterday I set myself free from this situation, for a while at least. And I hope that someday these people that feel the need to bully and push me a round will see that the world dose not revolve around them. That you know what my life is WONDERFUL, better then it was 10 years ago, or even last week. I am blessed with so many blessings, its truly amazing.

I have a wonderful husband that supports me. Builds me up, makes me a better person. He helps me see my faults and dose not focus on them and use them agents me. He is the love of my life, someone that cares about me, no matter what I do he supports me and helps me see that I can do better.

You know he helped me see that sometimes when I think I am helping, all I am doing is getting in the way. And yes I may have good intentions, but they at times come across the wrong way. How grateful I am that he pointed this out. He wasn't rude, or talked down to me or demeaning. But he did it out of love. WOW.

And then another amazing part of my life; our Daughter Shayli. What a wonderful little girl she is. She has her Mom AND Dad's stubborn streak, witch can be a lot to deal with, when you are BOTH that way.. lol.

She is soo smart. Daddy bought her a book of songs and she loves for us to sit and sing them to her, and she's picking up on them too.

I have so much in my life right now, WHY would I ever want to live in the past. Yes there are things in my past that I will NEVER forget, my children Jakob, Jeneh and Lynli. The lessons of love and of letting go and moving forward are lessons that only THEY could have taught me. For that I am grateful.

So today I took back my power. I showed them that they cant use me to have that power over me anymore. I am not their rag doll to blame for the choices they make.

I encourage anyone to search for what gives them power, for me it is the Love of my Life, Justin. Those that my heart will always belong to, Jakob, Jeneh, Lynli and Shayli. And to my family, no matter how stupid we are to each other at times.

Take the POWER BACK, today!