When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbows will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're feeling small
Alone in the night you whisper
Thinking no one can hear you at all
You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know, tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true
A dream is a wish your heart makes...
A dream is a wish your heart makes...
You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know, tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true"
Justin and I have been trying to get Pregnant again for over 2 years now. We have just about done everything BUT IVF, and even then we have meet with him and talked about coming back to do it. Dr Blower (My IVF Dr), Jed (my OB) and Justin are very scared of more then one baby with IVF. They have never really ever worked with a woman that has the TAC and with my history... Needless to say they are scared to death that the TAC wont hold. I know that my BAND OF STEAL will hold. I have that faith, but wanting to mess with fate is something that none of us want to deal with... Soooo where do we got from here...
We have tried Clomid and Femera. Clomid did nothing for us but make me really moody. No Femera.. That did wonder's WITH no side effects, But so far we have yet to get pregnant.. I don't know what is wrong with me, maybe I am broken, that is at least the way I feel.
But I keep coming back to fact that its the Lords time. Look at Shayli..... Or Jakob, Jeneh or Lynli. They all took time and it was the Lords time. We were told that our chances of getting pregnant on our own was slim to none and the Lord has blessed us with 4 baby's that we conceived with the Lords help.
I wonder if I am not doing what the Lord wants, or I have sinned some great sin and this is my pay back.. I have all kinds of thoughts running wild through my head. But what it comes down to is just what my Blog is named; "Some Miracles Take Time..." BUT they do happen.
Needless to say I feel broken and beat down. Almost everyone that I was pregnant with with Shayli has had a child after that and here I sit.. For some it comes easy and others....... I am Broken.
I am depressed and down and don't want to be anywhere. But then I go home and watch Cinderella with MY Princess and this all seems to melt away and seem like a bad dream. Justin and I sooo badly want to give Shayli a little brother or sister, but its just not happening... And I feel Broken, both physical, mentally and spiritually..
So as a verse in this song states:
"Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbows will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true"
1 comment:
This song in the ringtone on my phone - I love it so much!
You are Not BROKEN! Heavenly Father has just given you a very hard weakness in order to make you an Amazingly Strong Woman!
A few years ago when I thought I was dying and was shaking so bad I had to use a cane to walk I went through similar frustrations and wondered what I had done to deserve what I was going through. How in the blazes was I going to take care of my family when I couldn't even take care of myself. My husband and I decided that we needed to take a step back and focus on taking care of our physical and spiritual bodies. It had to be our first priority. James E. Faust said, 'Your First Priority is to your Spiritual and Physical Strength.'
So hang on to HOPE. Sometimes when Faith is a little weak that's all we can do. Hang on to Hope, Keep Praying, Take Care of Yourself and Believe.
Angels are Real and MIRACLES DO HAPPEN! Oh, how I know.
Hope I didn't sound to preachy, wasn't trying to. And sorry I haven't visited in a while - been a bit busy! Oh I'm so sad that Shayli broke her leg.
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