Has it been a while. Well, yes it has. ...

I am amazed every day that the Lord has blessed us with such an amazing child. She brings life to everything. From getting up in the morning to saying good night to her at night. Life is very different then it was 4 yrs ago.
As we approach Mother's Day weekend, I have to pause and remember what life was like 5 and 6 yrs ago. How life was very Innocent in so many ways.
After 2 years of trying to have a baby, we turned to do IVF, and where just waiting for the end of our two week wait, and that was Mother's Day weekend.
I remember the drive to St Marks Hospital to have the blood draw. Never in the few days prior had I ever thought about testing to see if our first round of IVF worked. I still think back to how "Innocent" I and we where...........
We waited and waited all day on Saturday for that phone call to tell us if we where going to have a baby or what our next steps would be. Then the call came, it was Michelle, my favorite Nurse at our RE's office. She had laughter in her voice as she told us that it worked and our due date would be Jan 17, 2004. I was thrilled and we where going to wait and tell our families for Mother's Day.
Our joy was even more added when we found out at 9 wks that we where having TWINS. I was kind of floored because all the ultra sounds before this had said ONE, but the one that day told us TWO, very live and living heart beats where beating away in side of me and I was nerves and excited all at once. Now Justin, he was just bunching off the ceiling and couldn't wait to shout it to the world.
Our joy and excitement was meant to be short lived, due to lots of complications, Jakob and Jeneh where born August 18, 2003, at 19.5 weeks into this world, silent.
My innocents was gone forever....
Then Mother's day week the next year, I didn't know what was wrong with me, I was really really grumpy and couldn't even stand to be around myself, little alone anyone else.
We had gone back in Dec 2003 to do IVF again, and it worked again, but we lost another little boy (son) at 14 wks due to PROM. At this point I wanted no more talk of having babies, talking about trying. I really just wanted to be DEAD!
But that week in May of 04 we found out that Miracles happen all the time, and most of the time we are NOT aware of it. We where pregnant again, with out the help of modern medican. We were shocked and thrilled and scared all at once. WE had no clue to how far along we where.
We got right in to our OB, (Jed, a God send and his staff are also sent from Heaven). He confirmed that we where in deed pregnant again and due Dec 2, 2004. Just into to move into the house we where building. I was 10 wks a long.
We where on cloud 9 and made copies of our ultra sound to give to our Mom's for Mother's Day. When they found out they where just as happy as we where....
Our innocents was gone but we where still exited, but that too was to be short lived. Lynli was born into this world August 3, 2004, at 23 wks. She was born alive but didn't make a sound. We were blessed to hold her for the few short minutes of her life. And then a week later burred her next to her brother, Jakob and sister, Jeneh, in the Mapleton Cemetery.. My heart is also burred there...
Each year for Mother's Day I think back to getting the news of being PG with my children, I cry over it, but I also rejoice over it too. I know that someday I will see and hold them again. Someday, but for now. WE have the most amazing little Princess of the Fields (witch is what Shayli means) to play with, watch grow, guide and teach and just enjoy life through her eyes.
I hope that everyone gets these moments to reflect and enjoy the good along with the painful and not so good. In all that we have been through to have a family, I am grateful for the lessons I have been taught by a Loving and Caring Father in Heaven that only wants the best for me and those I love.
What a wonderful world we live in and I'm so thankful that I'm here for the ride. So enjoy "The Princess of the Fields" picture. She is an amazing little girl. From her;
"Mommy we don't say that word."
"Shayli, what word are you talking about?"
"F***" (Daddy taught this to her, and he has sense gotten it out of his vocab, lol)
To..........
"Mommy, I want to go to Jakob, Jeneh and Lynli's grave and put flowers on them".
I know she really doesn't know who they are but it brings a smile to my heart to hear her say their names.
Yes the rain dose come, but the sun is not far behind..........