I haven't really checked out

I have just found it hard to write. I struggle with the fact that what I have today as my family, one living child, is it. I cant have anymore children and adopting...... Well it gets further and further out of reach. I have news of happenings, and will "catch up" but for now life goes on and I get more and more angry with the fact I cant have anymore children, Dang Doctor who thought she was God....